Not So Human Behavior

by Tom Shafer

December 30, 2018

So, I haven’t gone on a good rant in a while – though some of you might think that a silly, facetious statement. But recently, I was discussing human behavior with a couple of friends and we agreed that it (HB) was getting worse. Of course, our President isn’t helping either, and I posited that he was partially responsible – but not just because of his behavior while in office. Though many factors must be considered (poor parenting, failing religion, unregulated social media, unadulterated smart phone attachment), the worst of today’s “human” behavior is rooted in the birth and evolution of reality TV.

Certainly, this was not a revelation to me, but a lunchtime incident at a local sub shop underscored what I had been thinking. At this particular restaurant, food is ordered and paid for at the counter and then served by one of the employees upon its completion. I suppose people take note of their position in the delivery pecking order – and on this day one woman evidently did. A young server innocently walked a tray of food to a table across from me, and was immediately accosted by a thirty-plus year old woman at another table who stood up and yelled, “Where is MY food?” He turned toward the woman, expressionless, and simply stated, “I would have brought it, but I have only one hand.” Dangling limply from his right shoulder was an empty long sleeve. Embarrassed, and properly slammed back into her Neanderthal cave by an unbelievably patient college-aged student, she sat back down to a shocked and bewildered coworker who likely wasn’t expecting middle school drama to play out during her forty-five minute lunch break.

Now, you might be thinking that she was simply an unhappy, impatient person with anger issues and not the product of bad reality TV behavior. However, for several minutes before her food’s delivery, she had been VERY LOUDLY discussing the most recent episode of Big Brother – complete with unbleeped language. Okay, I concede that her impatience and anger issues may be the bigger problems, but I’ll still not deny my reality TV theory.

At its inception, television produced one reality type show, the nightly news. Then, in the late forties, Candid Camera introduced fun glimpses of Americans reacting to unusual and strange situations. In the fifties, daytime game shows became popular with stay-at-home moms and retirees, and prime time viewing included The Dating Game and Queen for a Day. These were fun, innocent shows that explored the worlds of ordinary citizens, and viewers were drawn to their unpredictability and humorous moments.

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It wasn’t until the early seventies that reality TV took a turn toward the dramatic. The PBS twelve-part documentary An American Family explored the world of the Loud family in what truly became a template for future reality dramas. As a young teenager, I tuned in every Thursday and witnessed the disintegration of what at first seemed like the perfect American family. The show portrayed typical family stuff (sibling squabbles, parental bickering, and celebrations), but revealed bombshells that included a coming out (sort of) of the oldest son and a crumbling parental relationship that would end in divorce. It also didn’t hurt that I had a crush on the youngest daughter Michele! Though the fictional world of traditional television was significantly more popular, ratings for the PBS series suggested that an appetite existed for more real life programming.

It would be another fifteen years or so before reality became a fixture of nightly viewing with the airing of Cops, a show dedicated to the exploits of our men and women in blue – while uncovering the seedy underbelly of crime in America. This was the first show that had to employ frequent (now ubiquitous) bleeping to conceal poorly the colorful language being utilized by colorful accused perpetrators. MTV’s The Real World followed a few years later, this show focusing on relationships that develop among seven or so diverse strangers who are brought together to live in (typically) a major metropolitan city. Storylines tackled over the years included prejudice, sex and sexuality, substance abuse, and love, but more often than not displayed the immaturity and recklessness of the housemates. Because this influential series was geared toward teens and twenty plus year olds, some social scientists point to it as a contributor to the easing of social mores in America – and as a model for the myriad of reality shows that would later try to copy it.

The last decade has witnessed an explosion of reality TV shows, ranging from Trump’s The Apprentice to Flavor of Love to Jersey Shore to Dance Moms to The Housewives of . . . franchise. I’m sure people tune in to follow their favorite characters and storylines, but they are also not ignoring the coarse language, juvenile behavior, and boorish manners. Who wants to watch a show about humans behaving nicely when lying, slapping, and table flipping can be found on channel 50? Oh, and a house full of racists (I’m pointing at you, Big Brother).

In fact, to some extent, I believe these shows are helping to normalize language and behavior that are best left on the not-so-silver screen. I like to believe that people are better than the outlandish “performances” – complete with f-bombs – that we witness at our local malls and restaurants – and on Facebook and The Nightly News. I like to believe that these “performers” had parents who provided moral guidance, that they DO know what is right from wrong. I like to believe that their spirituality taught them the Golden Rule (do unto others as you would have them do unto you), which is universal among all of the religions of the world. I like to believe that humiliation alone would keep them from “performing” their profane acts, a humiliation that would complement every subsequent meeting with parents, children, siblings, friends, and colleagues.

BUT, that is not the world we live in. The vast majority of us are trying to live by the Golden Rule, but we are being bullied and outplayed by those who are not – including our (purposeful lower case) president.

Those who labor in the social sciences know that human beings model their behavior on what they see around them. We model our parents in childhood, our peers and heroes in teenhood, our colleagues and friends in adulthood. But the advent of television – and subsequently the computer and internet – added another layer and complication to the theory. In 1700 and 1850 and 1925 and 1940, most human behavior could be easily explained (outside of social deviance or psycho/sociopathology). Today, though, it is not so easy. A contemporary child must navigate the standard models (family and friends), but even these have been influenced – and perhaps compromised — by twentieth and twenty-first century technology. Add edgy cartoons and incredibly violent video games to the mix and you get – well, morally confused children who become morally corrupted adults.

No doubt, it is a different world that we now live in. There is still so much good and so many more good people. However, the box is open and Pandora (not the music service) has shown no interest in going back in. We just have to figure out a way to navigate our changing times – and how to curb our enthusiasm for some of the ugliness of reality TV. I want you to enjoy your Survivor and Boise Boys while I enjoy my American Pickers and Deadliest Catch. I just don’t want to catch any of you behaving badly because, well, you want to behave badly. Behave goodly like my pickers Mike and Frank!

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