Republican Party Renamed!

by Tom Shafer

December 23, 2019

Hey, quick rant here for some members of the Republican Party, and their president (purposeful lower case).

Stop using the pejorative term “Democrat” Party when referring to the Democratic Party.

I’m pretty sure the Donald started this, and though many of you have ideologically followed him down his ignorance-laced rabbit hole (maybe I should use a lemming metaphor here instead), that doesn’t mean that you have to speak like him.

This is certainly not a new norm that any of us should be embracing. Of course, this president has been shattering norms at a Ripley’s-Believe-or-Not pace. But we don’t want to shatter them all!

Remember, you Republicans claim to be the party of conservative Christians, so you should be mindful of your bible teachings. Matthew 15:11 might be a good place to start: “It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth.” Again, this heathen (me!) continues to teach you with your own book.

Republicans, you have been warned. I know Michelle Obama likes to live by the “When they go low, we go high” mantra, and I like the idea in general, but with this presidency, all gloves come off (which will scare Donald because all of us know he has never been in a fistfight – like most bullies). So, if I continue to hear “Democrat” Party for much longer, I will be forced to unleash new, improved nomenclature for the Republican Party – a nice contraction, if you will – and I don’t think they will like it.

The “’Pube” Party, as in, “Some members of the ‘Pube Party are idiots for speaking like ‘Pube President Donald Trump.”

It’s really got a nice ring to it!

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