The Best — or Worst!? — Movie Titles Ever

by Tom Shafer

May 4, 2020

Okay, so recently I was scrolling through channels on the boob tube looking for an evening distraction when I stumbled upon a very strange movie offering on the Comet channel. After about five minutes — lost minutes at that — I pushed the INFO button and read the following: Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter. Now, this horror, sci-fi, Western mess of a film got me thinking about the process — or not — for naming things like movies. So what are the very worst or best movie titles of all time? Of course, that thought led me here, where I have provided just the beginning of a list. I know there are far worse (or better!) titles, but I had to start somewhere. Oh, and BTW, I have not viewed any of these movies in their entirety — though I know I have seen snippets of quite a few of them. Enjoy!!

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter

Blackenstein

Leonard Part 6

F.A.R.T.: The Movie

Operation Dumbo Drop

Santa With Muscles

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

Bad Ass 3: Bad Asses on the Bayou

Don’t Tell Mom, The Babysitter’s Dead

Octopussy

Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

Who’s Your Caddy

The Brain That Wouldn’t Die

Attack of the Crab Monsters

Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman

Attack of the Puppet People

Attack of the Giant Tomatoes

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Hell Comes to Frogtown

Big Ass Spider!

The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? 

Werewolves on Wheels

Frankenhooker

The Killer Robots and the Battle for the Cosmic Potato 

Class of Nuke ‘Em High

Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

Zyzzyx Road (BTW, the lowest grossing film of all time at $30 — for a $1.3 million budget!)

Scream Blacula Scream

Dinocroc vs. Supergator

Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?

Curse of the Queerwolf

Don’t Worry, We’ll Think of a Title

Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid!!

Fertilize the Blaspheming Bombshell

The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia

A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell

I’m probably just a “Bit Part” in your life, but I’m getting no residuals.

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