by Tom Shafer
May 4, 2020
Okay, so recently I was scrolling through channels on the boob tube looking for an evening distraction when I stumbled upon a very strange movie offering on the Comet channel. After about five minutes — lost minutes at that — I pushed the INFO button and read the following: Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter. Now, this horror, sci-fi, Western mess of a film got me thinking about the process — or not — for naming things like movies. So what are the very worst or best movie titles of all time? Of course, that thought led me here, where I have provided just the beginning of a list. I know there are far worse (or better!) titles, but I had to start somewhere. Oh, and BTW, I have not viewed any of these movies in their entirety — though I know I have seen snippets of quite a few of them. Enjoy!!
Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter
Blackenstein
Leonard Part 6
F.A.R.T.: The Movie
Operation Dumbo Drop
Santa With Muscles
The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl
Bad Ass 3: Bad Asses on the Bayou
Don’t Tell Mom, The Babysitter’s Dead
Octopussy
Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked
Who’s Your Caddy
The Brain That Wouldn’t Die
Attack of the Crab Monsters
Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman
Attack of the Puppet People
Attack of the Giant Tomatoes
Killer Klowns from Outer Space
Hell Comes to Frogtown
Big Ass Spider!
The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?
Werewolves on Wheels
Frankenhooker
The Killer Robots and the Battle for the Cosmic Potato
Class of Nuke ‘Em High
Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats
Zyzzyx Road (BTW, the lowest grossing film of all time at $30 — for a $1.3 million budget!)
Scream Blacula Scream
Dinocroc vs. Supergator
Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?
Curse of the Queerwolf
Don’t Worry, We’ll Think of a Title
Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid!!
Fertilize the Blaspheming Bombshell
The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia
A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell
2 responses to “The Best — or Worst!? — Movie Titles Ever”