by Tom Shafer
January 28, 2021
Okay, so I’ve had enough – again. After the inauguration of Joe Biden, I was ready to move on, to step boldly into the future, to leave behind the crazy, chaotic, quixotic past four years. Apparently, that has lasted all of seven days.
But, I have the Right (or Reich?) to blame. In spite of overwhelming evidence, the Donald still insists that he won the 2020 presidential election – and many of his cronies continue standing with him. Most Republican legislators, who three short weeks ago were cowering in alcoves and barricading doors at the Capitol – fearing for their lives – are signaling an unwillingness to impeach Trump, the very man who incited the riot that threatened their lives in the first place! Remember, those insurrectionists weren’t just seeking out Democrats like Nancy Pelosi and AOC with their fury. They actually wanted to lynch then Vice-President Mike Pence, whose only offense was following properly the rule of law and the Constitution. I guess those Republicans must believe that there were “very fine people” among the traitors on January 6th.
But the topper for me is QAnon acolyte, and House member from Georgia, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene. Greene won her 2020 congressional seat in northern Georgia overwhelmingly, though frankly an old goat named Harry or an unnamed pair of tube socks with blue stripes might have given her a run for her money – as long as they were declared Republicans in one of the most Republican districts in America.
But Greene, whom I will henceforth refer to as the Turd, is a breed apart when compared to her House colleagues. Yes, there was crazy racist Steve King, but Iowans eventually tired of his divisive shtick and voted him out in the 2020 primary. The Turd, though, makes King look like Mahatma Gandhi by comparison. The best way to explain her is by using her own words, actions, and beliefs, so read ‘em and weep – or like me, become outraged:
- The Turd is an unabashed COVID-19 denier who rejects mask wearing, lockdowns, and vaccinations.
- The day after Joe Biden’s inauguration, she filed articles of impeachment against him – for supposed corrupt activities with Ukrainian gas company Burisma while he was Vice President.
- After the deadly Charlottesville rally in 2017, she declared that “the most mistreated group of people in the United States today are white males.”
- She believes that the mass killings at Sandy Hook Elementary and Stoneman Douglas High School were false flag events, implying that they were staged to create an impetus for gun control.
- The Turd expressed support for PizzaGate, a debunked conspiracy theory that promoted the belief that prominent Democrats were involved in an alleged human trafficking and child sex ring fronted by Comet Ping Pong pizzeria in Washington, D.C.
- In 2017, she stated in a Facebook video, in reference to QAnon’s declaration that a shadowy cabal of Satan-worshipping, cannibalistic (and Democratic) pedophiles is running a global child sex ring, “There’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to take this global cabal of Satan-worshiping pedophiles out, and I think we have the president to do it.”
- In September 2020, she posted a meme to Facebook portraying herself brandishing an AR-15 rifle next to pictures of Democratic congresswomen Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Rashida Tlaib, and Ilhan Omar with the caption, “Squad’s worst nightmare.”
- Until 2018, she believed that the Pentagon plane-bombing on 9/11 was contrived by the U.S. government.
- The Turd once asserted that Barack Obama ordered a hit on Seth Rich, a voter expansion data director for the Democratic National Committee who was murdered in 2016.
- Then, just yesterday, it was reported that in 2018 and 2019, her Facebook feed supported the execution of prominent Democrats, including President Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and Hillary Clinton among others. In her own words and responding to the question, “Now we get to hang them?” she stated that the “Stage is being set. Players are being put in place. We must be patient. This must be done perfectly or liberal judges would let them off.”
Amazingly, I didn’t make any of these up. Quoting Mark Twain, “It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”
Now, in her defense, the Turd is claiming that over the years, she’s had “teams of people manage (her Facebook) pages.” Crickets. That defense never works for defendants (like petty criminals or killers) in court. And “teams” of people are overseeing her pages? If you are like me, I’m not letting ANYONE get near my Facebook account – let alone teams of anyones! Does she truly believe that her constituents – and the rest of us – are that stupid or naïve?
So, at this point, I feel I must channel my inner Jeff Foxworthy, the comedian who gave us (and is still giving us) the “you might be a redneck” comic bit, as in “If you think the French Riviera is a foreign car, you might be a redneck” or “You might be a redneck if your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.” Now, with apologies to Jeff, I must bastardize his line a little, and these statements aren’t going to be nearly as funny as his are. In fact, they aren’t going to be funny at all. I think you’ll catch on to the idea pretty quickly.
- You’re an idiot if you believe in or voted for Marjorie Taylor Greene.
- You’re an idiot if you believe the election was stolen from Donald Trump.
- You’re an idiot if you believe that our world, the earth, is being levered by a secret cabal of Satan-worshipping, cannibalistic pedophiles.
- You’re an idiot if you believe that Democrats are baby-eating, Satan-worshipping, cannibalistic pedophiles.
- You’re an idiot if you believe that Antifa was behind the January 6th siege on the Capitol.
- You’re an idiot if you still believe that Barack Obama was born in Kenya — and for that matter, that Ted Cruz’s father killed John F. Kennedy.
- You’re an idiot if you are waiting for the Great Awakening. In fact, I suggest you read the writings of Jonathon Edwards or John Wesley to find out how the last Great Awakening (1730s and 1740s) turned out. Past is always prologue for the present (sorry Shakespeare!).
- You’re an idiot if you believe in QAnon. Period.
BTW, if you are a Q-er, I have a pillow you absolutely have to try (“guaranteed the most comfortable pillow you’ll ever own”™), though I can’t confirm that it is filled with shredded baby hair.
Oh, and another BTW, Q is about as heroic as WikiLeaks’ traitorous leader Julian Assange.
Okay, enough already.
Wow, now that I’m Turd-free, I do feel better!
